Its been one of those days...

Today was a good day... a great day... Today was an amazing day ha.

From all normal standards today was a tough day... but when I look back upon the day, I smile.  My God is an amazing God and he has shown himself faithful and gracious time and time again.

I look back on today and see His grace, that today was a day he's given me and today was a good day.  Lessons learned, growing pains, but something I would welcome from Him again and again.

The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in love. Psalm 103:8

To whom shall I go, you have the words of eternal life.  John 6:68

The challenges of challenges.

12:47 am of Day 14.

A reflection of the last 13 days.  what a crazy 13 days.  I'm heading to Japan tomorrow...

I haven't been the most consistent with my challenges, but they have still been fruitful.

I think more than anything, its the constant reminder of what I should be doing and view everything that I do in perspective of my priorities.  Whether it be choosing unwisely, at least realizing the choices I make on a day to day basis.

The letter writing is something I desire to do but in contrast to that, having a regimented schedule for that is taking the joy from it.  I write out of a overflow of my heart, so i haven't been too good at keep up with it.  THough I intend to crank some more out in Japan.

Prayer -- definitely shows my weakness in prayer.  This is more a matter of commitment rather than time or availability.

Blogging.  It could be worse, and I'm hoping these are fruitful.  At times, its a struggle against posting for the sake of posting and actually putting the time into seeking substance.

I did a lot of reading through Daniel this past week and was reminded of how --- to the best of our knowledge, Daniel's greatest witness to the kings in his presence was his obedience to God.

He did question the power of God to interpret dreams.  He did not waver at avoiding the defile foods.  he did not waver at his times of prayer.  He represented God by his actions rather than his words... and how power was his witness.  A reminder to us, to watch our actions more closely than our words.

We can share the gospel, but if we don't live it, we may be doing more harm than good to those that see us.

We will live out the gospel as truly as we believe it.  If we struggle in our actions, then we most likely struggle in our faith as well.

Day ?. When it rains it pours.

Sadness. I do not even know the day.

Tuesday May 12 = Day 1

Thursday May 22 = Day 11.

Busy 3 days till I head off the Japan.  I'm not gonna get to relax till I'm on the plane.

Its been a test of my commitment, not just to this challenge, but to my deeper commitments beyond just this. I can't say I've been completely faithful, though I don't necessarily feel guilt over missing these.  Keeping these for the sake of doing these, benefit no one.

This challenge has lived up this name... this week has not been anything but...

tests of the week.

time management.  priority.  planning.  leadership.  delegation.  car accident.  fatigue.  friendships.  compassion.  discernment.  discipline.  patience.  perseverance.  fear. courage. faith.  peace. joy.  love. duty. responsibility.

can't say this week has been fun, but its been fruitful and through the difficult days, God has blessed me.  With experiences, with knowledge.  With encouragement and friendship.

2 Peter 1:3-11

3 His divine power has given us everything we need for a godly life through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature, having escaped the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.

5 For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6 and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7 and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. 8 For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9 But whoever does not have them is nearsighted and blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their past sins.

10 Therefore, my brothers and sisters,[a] make every effort to confirm your calling and election. For if you do these things, you will never stumble, 11 and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Day ?

The challenges are challenging to say the least.

But fruitful.

The struggle.  The contrast of the characters in the book of Daniel.

Daniel.  Prayer 3 times a day.  Steadfast.  Commitment.  Unwavering.  We see the great stories of Daniel.  But what empowered him to this commitment?

Nebuchadnezzar saw many wonders.  Dreams interpreted.  Men strolling in fire.  He saw enough wonders to give praise to God.  Many of the kings did, but their worship was short lived.

How we struggle in the same --- feeding off the temporary when we should focus on the long term.  The smaller investments that pay larger dividends.

Day 6

Blessed.  So blessed.

I used to think of myself as a very optimistic person.  I think many things wore me out and I became less thankful, less appreciative, more cynical...

But I had sometime to think about my circumstances...

its humbling to see the positions God has placed me in... my family, church, work, ...

Its easy to look at the negative aspects of my life and complain or be discontent, but things could be so much worse... and I look at my situation and I see God's hand.  I see his plan and his purpose.  I've been spoiled enough.  I need the kinks in the plans or else I'd forget my God.  I'd need to failures and trials or I'd cease growing.  I'm one that needs mistakes to learn... and even then I fail to learn from past mistakes and yet he allows me these safety nets to fail into.

And despite of me he places blessings before me.  People in my life I do not deserve.  One I did not ask for, yet was given to me.  People.  Opportunities.

I hope you know who you are.  You love renews me.  It challenges me to be more.  It frees me to strive for more.  On the days you question your worth, your purpose or your benefit to others.  Know you made an impact in my life.  Thank you.

Day 5 Struggles.

A letter a day is hard.  Too hard.  There is no definite time for it.  Pouring emotion on paper.  I enjoy it, but I also don't like being rushed to finish it.  Perhaps my goal is to finish 40 in 40 days but write at my own pace.
I'll try my best.

Lessons learned today.  I realized I have been very selfish with my thoughts and focus.  I was reminded today, ever so briefly of the need around me.  I think I've been complaining more these days.  Less content... far less content and in that I've become self absorbed, self centered... I am fortunate, very fortunate and I must open my eyes to the needs around me.  There is much to do.  much that can be done and much that should be done.

Much has been given to me.  Much is asked of me.

Day 5.  Give more.  take less.

Pirates of Caribbean quote:  "Take what you can, give nothing back" --- yeah, do the opposite.

Give what you can, take nothing back.

Day 4 - Two sides. Friday 3/15

What a contrast in days.  Started off a pretty horrible day, but it quickly turned for the better.

Encouraged by my students.  Tennis.  And watched an amazing performance of Rent at my school.

Rent - A relatively simple story.  No major plot twists. (No spoilers).  Love and heartache, drama.  Fear and death.  Family and loneliness.

They were all learning to put life in the proper perspective.  Loneliness and fear is a choice.  Choose love and risk heartache.

I was talking to another participant of the 40 day challenge and they commented on the difficulty of the daily commitment and I totally agreed.  Though it left me thinking about why such a commitment is difficult.

Its true that most people tend to pick 3 challenges they will be difficult for them.  But its not that it can't be done... since we are able to easily do it for one day.  But to do it the next day, and the next... that's where the challenge is.

Its a matter of motivation and priority.  Do we do it out of obligation?  "I'm supposed to do it, so I'll force myself to do it today."  Is it one of those disciplines we must learn... like exercising or eating your vegetables?    In any case, it made me reflect on our daily commitments to God.  Our need to daily strive for Holiness.  To seek Him daily.  To be a person of salt and light daily.  Is it not true how often we struggle in ...  do we even struggle?  Is it not true how often we Don't keep it up daily?  Why?  Cause its too much work?  Or are we doing it out of obligation rather than ...

In Tim Keller's book/study guide Gospel in Life he points out the difference between religion and the gospel.

Religion - I'm obey therefore I'm accepted
Gospel - I'm accepted therefore I obey.
Religion - Motivated by fear and insecurity
Gospel - Motivation founded in grateful joy

Is living for God daily something we even try to do?  If it is, I'd presume it be much harder than a 40 day challenge.  What's our motivation?  Personal growth?  Discipline?  Obligation?  Fear?  Love?  Love for whom?

Why do we do the things that we do each day?  Rent showed everyone's desire to love and be loved.  It showed their fears and insecurities in finding that love -- in the end their hunger and desire won out.  We know a love that does not waver or fade... what is our response?